Pregnancy 2.0

What I'm doing differently + what I'm bringing with me from my first crack at it

This week my Mom walked in the door at my house and looked me up at down before she said: “Wow, you’re getting big!”

AKA … the belly has POPPED.

I am deep into the second trimester and I have found that most of the things they say about your second pregnancy are true. Chief among them? You pop way faster and you sit far less.

This time, I’m chasing an absolutely feral, fun, life-giving toddler. He turns two this week (no, I’m not OK about it, thanks for asking) and he is wide open in every way. Last week alone we had two “blood in the mouth” incidents — one tooth through a lower lip while with his sitter, and one solid chomp of the tongue during family photos. Both times included a full throttle dive into hard objects no human should willingly dive towards.

My reflexes are cat-like and my agility as a pregnant woman should be studied.

He is simultaneously the source of the most fun I have ever had, while some days bringing my nerves to the brink of collapse.

It is the magic of boyhood.

This pregnancy is different from my last in the obvious, tangible ways. I am no longer answering to a corporation. I don’t have a traditional “job” outside the home, as I left my news job officially when Teddy was 6 months old. I’m not waking up at 3 AM to make it to work on time by 4 AM, and we no longer live in the city.

My days are filled with toddler playdates, supporting our small zoo of domesticated animals, endless grocery shopping and laundry, and managing projects at our home that we purchased roughly a year ago.

Toddler nap times are spent writing in this space, hosting a podcast with a former coworker/dear friend and (my current effort) space for rest and creativity. I’m learning how to knit, which is my new favorite way to steer clear of the nap time doom scroll and listen to an audiobook.

It’s different too in the not so obvious ways and the ways that aren’t as visible. It’s in the way I treat my body, in the way I talk to myself, in the way I am documenting it. The shifts I’m recognizing and the people I’m prioritizing.

I don’t know what I envisioned for a second pregnancy, because I don’t think I ever really envisioned what it would be like to get past the first one. I can’t tell you I really envisioned the first one either.

But I’m proud of how I’m approaching this after my first. So let’s dive in. Here’s what’s different and what’s the same:

Here’s what I’m doing differently:

1. Less information is more: I’ve written extensively about our relationship with our genetics after our first pregnancy. We found out during the beginning of my second trimester with Teddy that he had a 1 in 4 chance of having Late Onset Pompe Disease. We went through an entire process with this — an amniocentesis, genetic counseling, extra ultrasounds. We found out right around 18 weeks that Teddy carries an LOPD diagnosis.
   
   We now understand our risk. Both Logan and I are carriers of LOPD (the exact same genetic mutation, actually) so we know that we have a 1 in 4 chance of one specific possible outcome: the LOPD diagnosis that Teddy carries. We also know there’s a 3 in 4 chance that this child does not have it. He could also simply carry the genetic mutation, as Logan and I do.
   
   We opted not to do IVF to weed out LOPD. I should probably write an entire essay on this — on why we chose to conceive naturally. It makes me emotional to think about it, because if I had a crystal ball and could predict the future, I would love to ask my future self if we are making the right decision. But I don’t have that.
   
   All we have is our gut instinct and what we know is right for us in this specific moment.
   
   What I do know is that our choice not to intervene was born of trust in science and innovation, of the team at Boston Children’s Genetics and Metabolism and of our faith in Gd and the universe for placing the children who need us, and vice versa, in our hands.
   
   We are doing zero prenatal LOPD testing for this baby, and are instead opting to find out on newborn screen if he has LOPD or not. I don’t know if this is our right move, to be honest. Is finding out during the largest hormone drop of my life a great idea? No. But neither is gearing up an entire pregnancy around a diagnosis that I can do nothing about, and one that requires no immediate intervention. It’s information that only medicalizes us in the delivery room.
   More on this later.

2. Prioritizing strength training: During my first pregnancy, I did a lot of low impact sculpt work and mat pilates type training. I’m not saying this was wrong by any means — and I do still love incorporating one of these every so often, but it is not my main mode of exercise in the midst of this pregnancy.
   
   Instead, I’m focusing on roughly 2-3 strength workouts a week (20-40 mins TOPS) in addition to walking/cycling. Nothing insanely heavy, but enough load to maintain and build total body strength. This is not only protective of me during pregnancy, but also allows me to manage and handle my toddler. Because let’s be honest: a thrashing and kicking toddler needs to be arms length in an isometric hold at least 5 times a day, I don’t make the rules.
   

3. Focusing more on rest/sleep: Phhheeewwww this one. My first pregnancy was spent in the passenger seat of a news vehicle or behind a news desk at insanely early hours, and for long periods of time. This pregnancy features a pretty routine, strict, 9-9:30 PM bedtime. I wake up anytime between 5 and 6 AM every day. I enjoy the early hours of the day, just not like, 2:30 AM early…
   
   I’m also putting my feet up for a nap (GASP!) if I recognize that I’m starting to feel the fatigue set in. I have had a lot more general fatigue this pregnancy than my first, so I’m trying to listen to my body and put my feet up when I can, whereas last time I just pushed through and kept moving until bedtime.
   

4. Better pregnancy nutrition: Eggs, eggs eggs!!! Salmon 1-2x per week. Sourdough from scratch. Dark leafy greens and lots of antioxidant-rich fruit. My last pregnancy, I survived it. I ate as best I could given my work circumstances and I relied on my prenatal to fill the gaps. I drank lots of whole milk.
   
   This time, I have the luxury of being at my house most of the time. It means I can cook most of my food and prioritize the foods I know are going to continue to support a healthy pregnancy. We can’t control almost anything about pregnancy, so this is my way of supporting myself in a way that I can control.
   
   Contrary to the way I announced this pregnancy, I actually do not crave waffles this pregnancy! I am craving more pickled, salted foods and I am leaning into my desire for pickles, salsa, sauerkraut, etc.
   

5. Fragrances are not the devil: the way I only bought unscented body lotion and refused to wear any perfume my first pregnancy still haunts me. It was born of fear, honestly, and an unhinged first pregnancy algorithm. I’m now using perfume sparingly on my clothes for a special occasion or days I’m out and about, and I have not been as psychotic about fragrance-free body lotion. I’m not dousing myself in body splashes from Bath and Body Works by any means, but I’m much looser in this department when it comes to my body care. I’m also not as smell-averse as I was last time, which does help.
   

6. Coffee! I really struggled with coffee the first time around. And it’s interesting that coffee has not been as big an issue for me this time, because I have been consistently more nauseous and had many more GI symptoms this second pregnancy. I am having my morning cup of coffee instead of the morning matcha like I did the first time.
   
   I do still usually have a matcha at some point in the day as a pick-me-up, whether it’s iced from Starbucks (oat milk, half the sweetener, that’s the order!) or homemade. The process of whisking a matcha is still very satisfying to me, I just don’t need it first thing.
   

7. Acupuncture: I am still trying to find the right place, but I’d love to incorporate this come third trimester! Anyone in the Boston area with any suggestions or recommendations, please please send them my way.

Here’s what I’m bringing with me from the first time:

1. Hypnobirthing and birth doula support: One of the most common conversation topics people want to get into with me when it comes to birth is the fact that I chose to forgo an epidural. I have an entire essay on this forthcoming and percolating in my head — how we are built and conditioned to believe that birth is inherently painful, how in the interest of efficiency and predictability during birth, the system hampers a woman’s ability to advocate for herself and her preferences.

   Let me begin with this: I do believe that yes, birth is difficult and inherently painful. I won’t sit here and tell you that I think everyone will have a spiritual experience giving birth or should opt for an unmedicated birth. Most people just want to get through it and out the other side with a healthy baby and a mostly intact vagina. There is absolutely zero shame or judgment in that on my part and I hope by sharing my perspective on why I aim differently, I’m not putting anyone else’s preferences down. I don’t believe it is wrong to want to feel less in the delivery room. It’s also not wrong to want to feel more. The goal is always healthy, happy baby and healthy, happy Mom. Minimal birth trauma. 12/10 birth support. At the crux of it all, that’s what we all want.

   

   Logan’s face here will never not crack me up. This is how I labored, in 900 sq. ft. for as long as I could before we went to the hospital! July 17th, 2024.

   I believe deeply in the power of my mind and the strength of my body.
   
   I find so much power in the fact that I can rewire my brain to do something really fucking hard.
   
   So yes, I will be aiming for a “natural” birth again.
   
   But just as I said last time, I’m not opposed to interventions if I need them and I will do whatever it takes to have a healthy baby.

   
   But as with all things, we prepare for our preferences. So I am already busting out the Hypnobirthing books, practicing some meditation and mindfulness techniques that helped me the first time and making a game plan for how I’ll tackle labor. I’m still in the “holy shit I have to endure that again” headspace, and I know I have to get to the “this is the joyful way I get to meet my baby” mindset in order to have a successful unmedicated birth… and I know I will prepare and get there by the time I enter that delivery room.
   
   I never said it’s not hard work. It’s incredibly hard work.
   
   There are also other reasons I aim for an epidural-free birth. There’s the quick recovery aspect and the lack of side effects — such as potential for headaches, the “shakes”, and generalized nausea and vomiting from the use of pain medication (I am incredibly sensitive to medication — and there’s also the fact that I want to be able to labor and birth in any position that feels good to me. While an epidural can be dialed up and down based on a person’s preference to be able to move around, there is no part of me that wants to lose any function of anything. That’s just a personal preference. I also hate big needles. Sue me.
   
   I’ve also already roped in our birth doula support from the first time. I had an incredible experience with Boston Birth Associates, and specifically my doula (who is the founder of the company!) Mari Leckel. I cannot even begin to truly tell you what she did for both Logan and I both in the hours leading up to and during active labor, as well as within the confines of a hospital room. She helped me move through moments of intense vulnerability, supported me and encouraged me to stay calm and grounded, and she was our fly on the wall in the precious minutes after Teddy was born, documenting it all so that we would have the most important memories of our life. I am forever in her debt and I am so excited to do this with her again.
   

2. Pelvic Floor Therapy: THIS SHOULD BE COVERED HEALTHCARE FOR WOMEN and I will die on that hill. Not only did pelvic floor therapy help me in preparing my body for labor and understanding the mind-body connection to my pelvic floor, but my therapist also helped me reconnect to it post-birth, when everything felt completely foreign.
   
   This is beneficial even if you do opt for an epidural. I didn’t have one and cannot attest to what it feels like to push without that sensation, but I could imagine that any mind-body connection allowing you to relax and release your pelvic floor to allow for opening is going to make any woman feel more confident in that setting. Full stop. And obviously, the recovery aspect speaks for itself. She not only helped me rebuild the strength in my pelvic floor — and helped me with a slow, guided return-to-run program, but she also helped work through scar tissue in the area where I tore. I am starting again with her at the beginning of my third trimester and will continue through postpartum.
   

3. Same prenatals + vitamin support: I’ve talked about these before, but my prenatals are very simple. I had a great experience with Perelel the first time and I’ve stayed with this company for a second pregnancy. I added in the Choline Boost supplement in the first trimester this time, which was an addition from the last. I’m also taking my Magnesium Glycinate supplement for sleep support. I also supplement my coffee with collagen and take vitamin C with that to assist in absorption.
   

4. Exercise I’m keeping: lots of walking, continuing to cycle, NOT running: I had this kind of crazy idea that I was going to run this pregnancy, when after 20 weeks the first time I physically could not. I was also second-trimester pregnant the first time in the spring, which would’ve been great for running weather.
   
   I am now second-trimester pregnant in the dead heat of summer, the hottest one on record here in Boston in a long time, and finding that I am completely heat

   intolerant this time around. I stopped trying to run consistently probably right around 15 weeks, after running pretty normally during the first trimester. I don’t have any regrets about this and know that I will get back to it postpartum, just as I did the first time. This is just a reminder that it’s OK take a step back and opt out of something that doesn’t feel good at the moment while you’re pregnant. I’m replacing this with lots of walking. Teddy and I usually clock 2.5 miles of dedicated stroller time a day between going to the park and maybe stopping for Starbies. Not to mention the miles I clock just chasing him around. My step count is through the roof, and I’m letting that be ok.
   
   I am continuing to Peloton! I love to cycle and have found that a simple seat adjustment, specifically raising my handlebars to allow for a more upright ride, is doing the trick. I also cycle for far less time, as the pressure on my pelvis gets pretty intense if I go for longer than 30 minutes. I am for 20 minutes, and if I’m feeling great I’ll do 30.
   
   I think that’ll do it for now. This was a pretty comprehensive list. If you’re expecting, is there anything you’re doing remarkably different this time? Or the same? Would love to know your thoughts in the chat or in the comments!